I have watched the evolution of kitchen tables over time with high interest. As a kid growing up in the 50’s and 60’s, our family’s kitchen table was extremely retro with shiny chrome legs and a bright yellow top. The next tables of the 70’s, 80’s and 90’s continued to evolve in style and material. Currently, our kitchen table is an attractive wood piece with a glass cover to protect the top, a long way advanced from that table of the 50’s.
However, no matter what the changes in the design of the kitchen table over time, one thing has always remained the same; the kitchen table is the daily gathering place for my family for discussion, problem solving and learning.
As an elementary school student, I can still see and feel the presence of my mom and dad as we sat at the kitchen table after supper while I explained my plan to improve my grades for the next report card. Expectations were set. Accountability was defined.
As time went on, the kitchen table discussions each day included an infinite variety of topics such as which college to attend, who to take to the prom, and what to do with grandma and grandpa now that they needed more care. Sometimes we agreed; sometimes we argued. No topic was too big or too small.
Most importantly, I learned much about responsibility, expectations, and values at the kitchen table discussion. I learned how to listen and not just hear. Likewise, I learned how to communicate and defend a position. There was no anonymity. I couldn’t hide nor could anyone else. I had to be responsible for what came out of my mouth and so did everyone else. Many life-long lessons were learned at the kitchen table.
I hope the dialogue at the kitchen table is not replaced by a world of communicating via e-mail, texting, blogging, twitter, and the like. Such methods are effective in communicating information. However, they are absent the human elements of passion and empathy. Absent human characteristics, communication becomes sterile.
In schools, technology such as computers, white boards, and sophisticated software have all advanced the teaching-learning process. So have e-mail, texting and cell phones
One of the life lessons I learned early on at the kitchen table was from my uncle. He said “everything in moderation” in reference to the importance of keeping one’s life in balance. That advice has served me well and is as applicable today as it was then.
Students in the Portage Township Schools are experiencing high academic success. This success is the result of hard work and deployment of a well-defined process. However, knowledge alone is not enough to live a successful life with a fulfilling career. The development of the future workforce must include a balance between knowledge and character, a balance between academic excellence and what are referred to as “soft skills”.
Thus, the staff of the Portage Schools has created our own version of the kitchen table. The staff regularly engages students in discussions and activities to learn about critical values; values such as honesty, respect, responsibility, fairness and having compassion for others. Learning and living these values are just as important as the academic goals, if not more so, to succeed in life. I know of no technology that will replace the kitchen table experience in developing good people and our future leaders.
To those parents who engage their children in dialogue regularly at the kitchen table keep it up! You are doing the right thing. For those of you who are not, gather the family and make this a ritual. To start discussions you might want to use one of the critical values above as a topic. Or, discuss what to do with the dog when everyone is not home.
The topic is important. The action is critical.