Louis C.K. refuses to get his kid a smartphone. The comedian’s recent interview on Late Night with Conan O’Brien has “gone viral.” C.K. believes that while our gadgets have the potential to build community, they also cause problems of epidemic proportions.
Technology has become a quick cover-up for existential angst. Rather than bear and learn from loneliness, boredom, or sadness, at the first sign of these emotions, we plug into our e-world. This modern “e” could stand for electronic or even escape, but what about empathy? Empathy is precisely Louis C.K.’s concern. With the casual profundity of a classic comedian, he explains to O’Brien that when a kid insults a peer in person, she sees an immediate emotional response. Suddenly held accountable for her words and actions, her innate human response to another’s pain is empathy.
But when she texts or types hurtful words, she doesn’t see that reaction. Hiding behind a veil of anonymity, her empathy is abruptly cut short.
We are all born with the capacity for empathy, but ultimately it is learned. What are we, and our gadgets, teaching ourselves and our children?
October is National Bullying Prevention Month, and it seems everyone has a different idea about how to prevent bullying. Initiatives target all spaces and places, from the statehouse to classrooms to football games to dinner tables to Facebook. Where should a person begin? Consider empathy as a starting point, especially if you care about anyone whose body, brain, beliefs, and behaviors are still rapidly evolving.
Todd Willis, Director of Children’s Services at Porter-Starke Services, recommends focusing on nurturing empathy and a strong internal moral code. Committing to doing the right thing because it is the right thing to do will serve our children far better than our attempts to constantly monitor their cyber-activities and screen time.
Indeed, many of us digital immigrants feel inept at identifying cyber-bullying. While the means have gone digital, the effects are remarkably similar to old-school relational aggression. Like Louis C.K., we can shelter our children from the realities of modern living, but the desire to belong is powerful. Will shielding them from reality stop the predicament?
Now, ponder these two truths. First, our need to belong is fundamental to human functioning. We all yearn to be part of a community. Second, the Internet is here to stay. In cyber-speak, “going viral” means becoming wildly popular, typically through repeated Internet sharing. What do you inspire to “go viral” in your own life and the lives of the children you influence? And if empathy is the very foundation of our humanity, what part will you play in ensuring its survival? In that endeavor, surely none of us is alone.
This article was written by Rebekah Niedner, Social Work Intern with Porter-Starke Services. Porter-Starke Services is a not-for-profit community mental health center serving Northwest Indiana. The organization served over nearly 11,000 people last year.
